Bereavement
It is an unfortunate reality that the lifespans of our pets are much shorter than our own. It is inevitable for all pet owners that at some stage they will have to face the death of a much-loved companion.
Grief over the loss of a pet has some elements which can make it even more emotionally challenging than the death of a friend or relative. If you are upset because you have just lost a family member, people are likely to rally around in a very caring and supportive way. If the same thing happens because you have just had to put your beloved furry family member to sleep, you may receive a less sympathetic hearing.
The grief experienced over the loss of a pet can be made worse, as you are likely to have been actively involved in the decision to let them go. Occasionally a pet will die unexpectedly, but far more often it is the case that we need to make the decision to have our cat or dog put to sleep for humane reasons.
The responsibility of this decision can weigh heavily on your heart.
We often hear people say that they are more upset at the death of a pet than they were when they lost a person who was close to them. There can be many reasons for this. The simple fact is that you are very unlikely to receive from anyone other than a pet the unquestioning love they provide. They do not hold it against us when we are tired, sick, or just having a difficult day – they think we are perfect, no matter what mistakes we make in life. They carry with them no emotional baggage, no memories of unresolved grievance or misunderstanding. The fact that our furry friends are so entirely dependent on us for their health and well-being also leads to very intense emotional ties. It is impossible to overestimate the importance of the companionship of pets in the lives of elderly or socially isolated people. We all have days when we feel the need for a wagging tail or a feline smooch, even during what from the outside may appear to be happy and well-adjusted lives.
Grief over the loss of a pet may be inevitable, but there are some strategies you can use to help make the process a little easier.
First, it is important to realise how fortunate we are to have the option of euthanasia for our pets. In cases where an animal is in pain or feeling extremely ill, or when we know that no matter what we do they will feel worse tomorrow than they do today, it is truly a blessing to be able to save them from going through unnecessary suffering. What an enormous gift to be able to give to a companion who has devoted their entire life to you.
If you choose to do so, you can stay with your dog or cat while they are being put to sleep. In cases where owners prefer not to be present, we administer the injection immediately after they leave so that the animal is not in a strange environment. All our staff are caring, compassionate people, so your pet’s last memories will be cuddles and comforting words.
For owners who wish to be present, it is important to be prepared for what is involved in putting a pet to sleep. What typically happens is that an injection is given into the vein of the front leg. This drug (Lethabarb) is used as an anesthetic overdose. So, your pet just falls asleep painlessly, and after they are asleep the overdose stops the heart from beating. Sometimes after the animal has passed away the body may undergo automatic reflexes, such as passing urine or faeces, or appearing to take a deep breath. It is important to be prepared for events such as this so that they do not come as a shock. The vet will discuss this with you before the injection is given.
After your pet has passed away, we will normally leave you alone with them for some time so that you can say a final private goodbye. We encourage owners to stay with their pet as long as they feel necessary. This is an important part of the grieving process for you, and you should never be concerned that you are taking up our time or getting in the way. This is one of the most important times in your relationship with your dog or cat, and it takes priority.
In cases where a decision to put your pet to sleep has been made in advance, it is a good idea to consider what you want to have happen afterwards with the body.
In the case of small animals, burial at home may be an option. Alternatively, we have access to companies which provide individual pet cremation services. Ashes can be returned to you in a vessel of your choice.
Some owners may elect not to have a private cremation but may like to keep some of their pet’s hair, a collar, or a special toy. For some people, photographs and memories are all they need. If you have time to do so, we suggest putting some thought into this beforehand, because when the time comes, you are likely to be too upset to want to think about these things.
The difficulty of putting a pet to sleep can be magnified when there are children in the family. It is generally recognised by psychologists that children over the age of seven are best to discuss these facts openly and honestly with them. Younger children are usually less traumatised by the loss and tend to move on to new things – even a new pet – relatively quickly. Children differ of course, and if you are in doubt about how to handle the situation, please contact us, and one of our vets will discuss this with you. Children do seem to benefit, though, from some sort of formal recognition of their pet’s passing – a memorial ceremony where they bury one of the pet’s toys in the garden, sitting down with their parents and writing out their favourite memories of their pet, or being involved in framing a favourite photograph.
It is important to realise that people go through the same stages of grief with the loss of a pet as they do with any other family member. Don’t bottle up your feelings but find a sympathetic person to listen to you.
Formal grief counseling is an option for some people. Do not forget that if you cannot find a like-minded person to talk to, the GVH staff are all animal owners and have all been through the death of pets themselves. We can empathise with what you are going through, and we are always available to you if you need to talk things through.
Finally, a quick word on behalf of ourselves. It would be foolish to think that being frequently involved in the euthanasia of animals does not take an emotional toll on our staff. It is one of the most challenging aspects of our work. We are trying our best to support you in this tough time. It is a great privilege for us to be able to offer our animal friends- often pets that we have known since they were puppies and kittens- a pain-free and dignified end.
The passing of our furry friends is never an easy thing, there are ways in which we can make it easier for all involved. If the time is approaching when you may have to face this decision, we encourage you to contact one of our vets with any questions you may have.
Nothing else comes close to the joy they give us, and the wonderful memories they leave with us at their passing.
